choosing church

My church issues are many fold. Some are due to my childhood- an ultra-liberal environment with almost no boundaries. Some are due to my life stage. Some are due to trial and error of what I want and don’t. And some are just me.

Stuff I love about church (in general, doesn’t matter which variety):

The people. People that are involved in your life, care about you, pray for you, celebrate your victories and much much more. When you have a group of people you can count on, there’s nothing like it. It really is FAMILY.

Activities. Bible study. Small groups. Prayer meetings. Hotdish or potluck suppers. Field trips. Speakers. Reading as a collective. Churches can have some of the best free (or close to it) activities available, and many of them offer great chances for personal growth.

Charity. Churches, more often than not, get it right in helping others. Most of the time they know when someone needs help, friends, a quiet ear, or a hand in getting things back together.

Stuff I hate about church (in general, doesn’t matter which variety):

Getting out of bed on Sunday morning. It’s just wrong. It doesn’t help that the Dude works from 12-12 on Sundays and he’s warm, and comfortable, and I don’t have a day off with him, and leaving means less time with him. If I leave at 8:30, I don’t see him for the rest of the day and it’s difficult to do.

Money/Giving. What, or if, I give is up to me. It’s personal, and private. I have a hard time with giving in church (unless it’s cash, and that’s a whole different story) because ultimately, someone sees it. I already deal with guilt (lots of Catholics in my family despite the ultra-liberal upbringing) and I never feel that I am doing “enough”. When a giving campaign starts, I usually hide. And don’t get me started on $15 classes, plus books or $5 donation (after I bring food and plates) for the chili dinner (and it is NOT for charity).

Finding the right place. It’s a tough thing to find the right people, the right environment, and the right activities. Many people ‘church-hop’ for months or a year before they find their “home church”. I have tried a lot of churches and thought I found the ‘one’ but things (or maybe it was me) changed and I had to start all over again.

-I was facing this about 6 months to a year ago.

I had been attending our area's version of a "mega-church" (about 2500) and was not very happy with just a couple things. However these couple things were non-negotiable for me.

My friends invited me to their church, and so I went (I figured I would at least respect their opinion and try it). Their church is 300 people MAX! It has been a major change for me. I really love the PEOPLE. It's like a big family- people that are genuinely invested in me & my kids, and pray for me etc.

The pastor is very passionate, and I enjoy him most of the time. But man, he is LOUD. I'm so accustomed to "talking" ministers that a pastor that gets excited and uses his voice is a new thing to me.

The worship is really different too. The other church was a young, contemporary church with a worship band that played up to date, modern music. This new church is a much older congregation and the music reflects that.

But a big plus is the teen ministry. Their teen pastor is truly gifted and loves young people. He's really gotten my kids to "buy in" and is really tuned into their lives. I can't say enough about his impact. I wish I could go to their services, because I like him that much.

While I don’t know if this place is my “home church”, it’s where I think I am supposed to be for now. I’m really growing in faith, and I have friends and “family” that I feel comfortable asking the “hard questions” with. I can let myself be me, and know that I won’t be judged. I really value the safety. I value the emphasis on G-d and Biblical teachings. I value the people.

Acts was all about the regular people moving on with their lives and building Christianity after Christ’s death. It’s my favorite book in the New Testament, because it clearly illustrates how church happened (through people, meeting in each other’s homes, praying for each other and sharing equally in their talents and abilities), and the good it did.

On a note more about form than function, what was this guy doing inside my head?
Almost every point he brings up here about the “younger generation” and “new way of doing church” is right on point (for ME anyway) and illustrates the so-called flaws I see in traditional church. It’s fascinating, and it was really important for me to see someone else understand some of my hesitations with “organized church”, but able to explain it better.

It’s probably the best explanation of the kind of thinking that can drive away people that are interested in Christ or church, but get bogged down in details. A lot of it directly relates to a book the church I am attending recently studied, but really hits the points more clearly and in more detailed fashion.

from Our Daily Bread by Mart De Haan
Oct 27th

Over the past decade there has been growing controversy about “a new way of doing church.”

The debate has been generational in nature. Many of our sons and daughters are forming or joining congregations that don’t look or sound like our kind of church. Yet, they are likely to tell us that they are just trying to be authentic followers of Jesus and that many of us have been unfair in our criticism of them. See, for instance, New Zealander Andrew Jones’ eloquent defense of these emerging groups at “What I Would Say to the Young American Emerging Churches.”

The emergent phenomena, however, has been marked by bad blood. Some members of the traditional church have characterized these communities as critical, culturally obsessed, biblically illiterate, and more interested in taking the church apart than in building it.

From where I sit, seems to me that what is needed is the kind of wisdom that some of the first church leaders showed when they called in Paul and Barnabas and listened to their story (Acts 15). Here’s some of what I think we would hear.

Many emerging churches affirm:

The tri-unity of God as a basis for valuing community rather than self-centered individualism.

Faith as a conversation and a journey rather than just a declaration and decision.

Taking a “both/and” rather than an “either/or” approach to eternal salvation and social involvement; the letters of Paul and the Gospels of Jesus; our church and the kingdom of God.

Seeing the church as a movement rather than just an organization.

A desire to reach a generation largely untouched by traditional churches.

Valuing creativity and variety in worship styles.

Seeing spiritual leadership as a matter of example rather than authority and control.

A willingness to think through the doctrines of the church rather than just taking for granted that their parents generation had it right.

Living the Bible rather than just studying and defending it.

Seeing not only the truth of God but also the mystery.

It’s important to understand, however that these values will often be expressed as a reaction to and sense of disillusionment with the churches of their parents’ generation.

Emerging communities often take issue with:

Emphasizing the letters of Paul while ignoring the Gospels of Jesus.

Condemning homosexuality and abortion while ignoring sins of pride, racial prejudice, greed, divisiveness, and hypocrisy.

Defending doctrinal statements with anger and intimidation rather than with reason.
Regarding arguable or possible implications of the Bible as absolutes and tests of orthodoxy.

Interpreting the Bible as if it was written in our generation rather trying to understand what it meant in the times in which it was written.

Preoccupation with prophetic scenarios while ignoring the needs of poverty and justice within our own church families and communities.

Following male leadership that does not include or respect the needs and thoughts of women.

Seeing church authority as a matter of hierarchy and control rather than example and servant attitudes.

Viewing the church as an institution rather than as a community.

Focusing on unchanging forms of worship rather than fresh expressions that reflect continual renewal.

Attempts to marry the church to political power.

Emphasis on professional clergy rather than encouraging whole-church participation.

A failure of the traditional church to confront abusive patriarchy, warfare, and injustice.

Efforts of the church to bring people in rather than going out to them.

Outreach that sounds angry and condemning rather than embodying the attitudes and methods of Jesus.

Teaching that focuses on texts and doctrines rather than on the story and stories of the Bible.

Church leaders who cater to rich and powerful members

Use of a code-language (church jargon) that self-identifies and self-authenticates insiders while remaining confusing or misleading to those outside of Christ.

Attempts to maintain a theology that doesn’t leave room for the mystery of God

I got pretty long winded there (that’s what loquacious means) just to say I’m just as confused as I was when I started, but it’s ok because I have friends and a church “family”. Whew.