Action, Driving, Adventure, Exhaustion

I returned Friday from my trip. The trip was long. I learned a lot- mostly, that 4 hours on my own in the car is about my limit; and that I do not ever want to leave the kids for that long again. (Until they are grown or something. I am not obsessive.)


I was SO proud of myself. I drove there (4 hours) all by myself- to somewhere I had never been before, with directions from Google. My experience with Google directions is that they are usually right on either distances OR street/highway names- but very rarely BOTH at the same time. Despite that, I got there in one piece and DID NOT GET LOST!

Later in the week, I decided to be adventurous, and drove to a suburb of Cincinnati. I yet again drove all the way there by myself, with Google directions, and DID NOT GET LOST! I had a wonderful time in Cincinnati visiting with an "online friend" and paid a visit to one of the very nicest stamp stores I have ever seen.

I then returned to my hotel, on my own- without any written directions- Just "get off at "X" street" directions... AND DID NOT GET LOST!

I drove home, by myself, and while I *HAD* directions, I did not really need to use them until the middle of Indianapolis. Once I got past Indy, I knew the way home, and I made it safe and sound. I did NOT get lost.

I have to say that all this excitement is a little more than I am used to, and way more than I want to engage in regularly. I was worn out for the whole weekend after I got home!

My dog was so happy to see me he ran in circles, barked a bunch (very rare in the house anymore), licked me to pieces, and then laid in my lap.

My kids attacked me. The Dude was VERY glad to have me home. I am glad to be home.

Gulp

Today, I drive 4 hours away to a place I have never been, by myself. I don't exactly know where I am going and I am very good at getting lost.

I will be gone until Friday afternoon and I have NEVER been away from the kids for more than a 2 day weekend.

It'll be ok, right?

For the Dude

Just an open letter, because I know he looks here.

You are an amazing man, and I adore you more every day.

You know I like to read that message board-it's a little like a soap opera and I am always interested in other people's lives.

Every day that I read it, I am strongly reminded of how LUCKY I am. I am reminded every day of my life, but seeing slices of other people's lives just reinforces how wonderful you are. I have a faithful, honest, hardworking, dedicated and loving man that showers me with love and respect.

I can honestly say that even the "grrr" stuff is not enough to warrant a vent there- you're just too good and I won't subject you to the wrath of all those women that aren't in our situation.

Even on the weird or not so good days, I have a "strange relationship that's worth holdin' on 2" and I am glad for your presence in my life.

You light me up and make me feel so special, so important, so central to your life. You praise the stuff I do right and pick me up and dust me off when I fall down on the job. You hold me when I am all wrecky and encourage me when I need it. You remind me of how big & tough I am, and how I can handle anything, as long as

I have you.



I am beyond blessed and I am so glad that you are my best friend and my husband... and that I quit looking at FNM, took a chance, and kissed you.

(me/yours)

Constant State of Undone

So my life has taken a crazy and weird turn. No matter how much I'm prepared, no matter how much I plan, I never feel like I'm ready for the week ahead. I haven't been able to relax in my "normal" ways in a long time.

I haven't been able to let my guard down - to truly let myself go- in months. I tried to make cards, or scrapbook a couple weeks ago and nothing I did worked. I couldn't let go of the pit of fear, or the anxious knowing no matter what I did.

It's tiring and I'm trying to be positive. I could have a million other things to worry about, but I can't stop obsessing on the ones I am dealing with.