More birthday related

TallBoy turned 16 yesterday. Many jokes were made about the roads not being safe, and much ado was had over his immense tallness , and he had a wonderful day.

He's actually been driving on a permit for over a year now and is a very good driver. He hates the interstate with a passion and nearly begs me not to make him drive down it when we go somewhere.

He did indeed grow again and I am thinking of hiding the Cheez-Its because they are Proven(TM) to make him grow taller.

He went to game and actually got to do a few very cool things, and enjoyed being sung to by a large group of people. Our dear friend Squirl (who is VERY hard to say no to) convinced SweetPea to lead the Gang in the rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday".

Is it bad to admit I enjoyed watching her squirm, just a little?

It was a good day, though.

It was NOT freezing cold. It was not frostbite inducing. It was not so harsh it hurt to breathe. ALl of those conditions were present 16 eyars ago the day that darn PeskyBaby(TM) was born. He did grow into the TallBoy- all Knees, Neck & Elbows, and tall enough to get the rice down from on top of the cabinets.

It's an honor to be his mom. I love being part of his development. Sometimes I am shocked at how well he's turned out- he's a GOOD KID. I think I'll keep him for a little bit longer.

Go away 18, I am not ready yet.

More words than normal today

Life has a funny way of telling you how small your world is when you least expect it, and showing you the treasures you never knew you had right under your nose.

We recently heard that one of TallBoy's friends from church lost his mom to cancer. This buddy has a very special place in MY heart (although I don't think he knows it) because he reminds me SOOOOOOOOOO much of my middle brother. They are built in a very similar fashion, they talk and act very alike, they dress in very similar ways and even like the same kind of music. I quite honestly did a large number of double takes when I first met him because he resembled my brother SO much I was having a hard time figuring out what he (my brother) was doing 500 miles from home.

TallBoy and I discuss how TallBoy feels about this whole deal- someone he knows and cares about is hurting and needs friends to be around him, to support him, and to listen to whatever might be on the friend's mind. TallBoy agreed very strongly that he should attend the visitation and offer whatever support he could to his friend.


I heard about a local Blogger's Toys For Troops rallies, and came out to help a while ago. I sent out emails to friends and family that understand supporting troops in physical ways, gathered my kids and took them with me to a day of gift sorting & present wrapping. I made Christmas cards to send out. I still have a batch of thank you cards for her next batch of goodies to go out.


This lady, My fellow Blogger over at This Just In was relaying over the course of several months (if not longer) that she was losing her sister to cancer. I didn't say a lot about it, but I kept GnightGirl's family in my prayers as they dealt with the many "whammy"s of cancer and grief.

When she announced the death of her sister and gave details on the service, I was stunned to realize that her sister was also TallBoy's buddy's mom.

The day of the visitation, TallBoy was sick, so I went in his place. I knew two of the people touched by this woman's life, and I had as much compassion and concern as TallBoy- it was just different. TallBoy's friend was very surprised to learn I knew his aunt, but it was a good time.

TallBoy felt better, and went to the funeral, burial, and church luncheon to be a support for his friend. I honestly couldn't be prouder of him than I am right now.

I really don't have a lot I am super passionate about (as discussed previously), but compassion is something I am HUGE on. I never know if my lessons and examples make their mark on my children. I never know if I am truly passing on my values or if my kids just pay lip service while they are still home to get me off their backs.

TallBoy showed not only me, but himself and his buddy, that he GETS it. Caring about other people's feelings is important and it should be DONE. He didn't care that it was uncomfortable, or hard, or a distraction. He just did what was RIGHT and offered the only thing he had to his friend- his presence.

I am so completely thrilled with him. He's truly a fine young man, and I saw just a glimmer of the great potential he has within him.

Getting Back to "Me"

As a rule, I am a pretty laid back, mellow person. I do what needs to be done, I make lists, move on, and face the next day with a smile as much as I can.

Since the layoff, all of my fears have started to take over my normal way of thinking. They have started to creep into my head on a daily basis, and my regular self has morphed into someone I really do not like. Anxious, cranky, irritable, short-tempered, a little paranoid, disinterested in just about anything, disorganized, unable to complete projects- just a wreck. I really don't like this person I was turning into and the worst part was I felt trapped and couldn't find a way out.

This week, the grocery store job didn't have a lot of hours because of the University's spring break (the store is on campus so it is directly affected by student mass exodus). I didn't have any scheduled interviews or places to be.

So Monday, I slept in. I read a book. I hung out with The Dude. I cooked a real meal- actual dinner. I watched a few TV shows with the kids. I played with Cash. I was totally mentally lazy and did nothing but relax. Tuesday I applied for some jobs, but I did it all in about an hour.(I have gotten very good at it- it's a ninja skill!) Then, I helped a friend with his resume and got ideas on how to help him find a job he would like and be happy with. After this was done, I helped run him around to a few places (I have a car and his needs repairs) and then went home. I cooked dinner again. I hung out with the kids. I played with Cash. I read another book. Wednesday I did some chores around the house. I broke out my PaperCrafts magazine for ideas. I read a book. I hung out with the Dude when he got home from work. I made dinner. I've been helping my girlfriend get out of her own rut and possibly consider dating and I texted with her about cute guys for a while. Then I went into town and played in a new game- and had a BLAST. Yesterday I hung out at home for a while. I made the kids' dinner in advance and left them directions on the stove so they would have a real home-cooked dinner last night. I did work at the grocery store for a while, but it was slow and they sent me home early. I came home, hugged the kids, and watched a few episodes of Supernatural with TallBoy before bed.

Today is my "work day"- I am helping a dear friend clean his apartment before he moves away to HappilyEverAfter(TM) with his bride-to-be in Georgia. I'm scheduled to call back about an interview I had last week. I've got an appointment with a friend to talk about random (but important) stuff. I'm planning on making dinner.

All of this has really helped me find the "real me" again- and I feel more like my normal self. I'm starting to have interests in my hobbies again- I actually want to scrapbook again. It's been a gradual process- like pulling back the curtains and the light falling on the "old me"- but I like it. A lot.

My life isn't perfect and I want to be working at a full time job again soon, but I like my life right now. I have a lot of flexibility and I can work on projects, apply for jobs, or even take a nap if I want to, and I am still ok.

Being OK is good enough for me for now. It's actually kind of nice.

It's "quiet"...

Actually, the TV is on and I think it is Spongebob. TallBoy was just in the dining room, jumping- because he wanted to try to touch the ceiling. He's got Disturbed going on his stereo loud enough that I can hear it over the TV.

These noises assure me my kids are alive & well, enjoying their interests. I love the loudness of it- it becomes a kind of background noise for me. I love the "quiet" of a busy house with teenagers (TallBoy almost always has Fin or another friend over) and an-almost teen to-ing and fro-ing.

TV is off now. SweetPea is now in her room, with her iPod going- and she's singing along. I'm now hearing Joan Jett and Megadeth at the same time....

Only at my house is that quiet.

From "squeaky house" to this...

My darling TallBoy will be 15 tomorrow. He's huge. Really tall. He's still growing and has bony elbows, knees, long fingers and BIG feet. He's well into full blown puberty with hair growing *everywhere* (and LOTS of it, too). His face is always in need of a shave. He smells distinctly like "boy", though he has discovered Axe and other body sprays.

He's funny. He's smart. He's got a wicked sense of humor. He loves to be a smart alec; very much like the Dude. (In some ways they are exactly alike. It's scary!) He's very compassionate to the people he cares about. He's fiercely loyal. He's got a tendency towards righteousness. He's got a temper, too. He knows himself. He's got great judgement about people. He's such a cool guy.

He was a lot different as a baby and small guy. He was fussy, tempermental, picky, stubborn, mean, stinky, and ROUND. The boy knew how to eat. Born at 7lbs 15 oz, he weighed 16 lbs 7oz at his 8 week checkup. He gained a pound a week for 8 weeks straight and I was nursing. Sleep, *pshaw right*. At 6 months he weighed 25 pounds- bigger than some 1 year olds. At one, he weighed 40 pounds.

As he became a toddler, he became obsessed with routine and control. New things were NOT allowed, or terrible 2-3 HOUR tantrums ensued. He had weird, irrational fears- crowds, loud noises, overly shiny things... forget a parade. NOT gonna happen.

He had funny, quirky habits. One he had that was especially endearing was his "squeaky house". He'd take the BIG Duplos or wooden blocks, or blankets, or boxes, and build walls around himself until he was walled into a tiny 2x2 (or smaller) space and the walls would be taller than he was. He'd stay in there, keeping himself amused (somehow) for hours on end. He would also do this with a toybox (about 2x3). He'd throw all the toys out, sit inside, grab a couple toys he liked, and proceed to play -IN- the toybox.

He has a reputation for being a picky eater, but he has started to grow out of it a little. He's at least willing to try new things. But feeding that kid has been an adventure. I don't have any idea how he got so big- as a kid he only ate Cheerios (No milk), hot dogs (not cooked) and cheese sandwiches. Every now and then some applesauce.

And he is 6' and almost 200 pounds. He's almost 15.

He's a great kid that I love passionately, and I am PROUD to be his mom. I am proud of him.

Happy almost birthday, my little star. You're the sun now. My sun, my son.

Mom Powers

A few months ago, TallBoy was in his room, being good and quiet and leaving me alone. His music was on at a tolerable level and he was not doing anything wrong. (All was good in the world!)

I was in the living room and watching TV quietly. I made the realization that TallBoy had not showered in *too long* and decided he needed to do so.

I sent him a text message. "You need to take a shower."

His reply: "How can you smell me through four rooms and a door?"

Me: "Mom Powers"

TallBoy was beside himself and made a big fuss about it, but did shower. He STILL uses this instance to discuss how UNFAIR my mom talents are. (I'm also capable of hearing muttered bad words from several rooms away and of knowing homework is not turned in. Just unfair.)

Monday, he was sitting next to me on the couch and cuddling me. He was being good and courteous and helping get me beverages or books or what have you as my leg & foot tried to heal.

I looked over at him and noticed something in his pocket, so I poked it. I did not ask him what it was or say anything about it, I just thought about what it might be. (this whole series of events only took about 10 seconds, maybe) It was rectangular, flat, thin and stiff. It was not a cell phone as that is in my room. It was not keys (wrong shape and size). It was not money. Though it was the right size, it did not have bumps on it and he is too young so it was not a credit card. I quickly deduced it was

"Student ID"

TallBoy's mouth dropped open. He looked at The Dude with this "WTH" expression on his face. He said:

"How does she DO that?!!! How did she KNOW? I just got it today and I didn't even tell her about it! It's just WRONG!"

My reply:

"Mom Powers".

Most of the time my "mom powers" are me being MUCH more observant than I let on. I spend a lot of time acting a little distracted (and sometimes I really am distracted) so my kids tell me things they would never say if they thought I was paying attention. They may not say it out loud, but I watch them and know their body language. I know their moods and habits. I know them very well, because I pay attention. Just quietly.

Other times it is my "been there, done that" experiences. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager and I remember some of the things I dealt with all too well. I use my youth to my advantage when dealing with my kids.

Someday I may let my children in on the parental secret. That we're not so dumb after all.

But for now it's a lot more fun to let the TallBoy think I'm some kind of freak, and that I have

Mom Powers.

My overworked oven

I am not traditional at all when it comes to holidays, especially not involving food.

I am not doing a turkey because TallBoy does not LIKE turkey and The Dude doesn't like bird on the bone, and SweetPea and I only like white meat. A whole turkey would be a waste and a breast roast would only feed 3 of us. No ham because TallBoy and The Dude do not like it either.

I sort of make it my "tradition" to make NON-traditional Thanksgiving day dinner. In Thanksgivings past, I have made lasagne, meatloaf, pot roast, steak and applesauce chicken (a family favorite).

This year I am making stew, mashed potatoes, an Asian inspired salad, home made bread and shortbread. With a pot of spaghetti for anyone that might not care for stew- a distinct possibility with TallBoy. We also have some friends coming over, and their girl is about 8 and not always reliable about what she eats. I like to at least TRY to have options.

I am trying to do most, if not all, of the preparation/cooking stuff tonight so that I can let the crockpot do the work and sleep in. When you have to be up no later than 5 am every day, sleeping in is a luxury I do NOT want to waste.

So I baked my shortbread and my home made bread tonight. My poor oven is very put out with me. But I really don't mind. There's something terribly relaxing and enjoyable about putting together flour, sugar and butter and getting some of the tastiest stuff ever out of it.

I think that's what I like best about the holidays- time to actually cook and enjoy myself.

Happy Thanksgiving- and I'm giving my oven a rest.

Y, Oh, Y

TallBoy came over to me and was acting extremely affectionate and lovey and things today. So I returned said affections, hugging and kissing and generally enjoying the bigness of this boy of mine because I love this guy. He's great. Annoying at times, but truly great. He disengages, smiles, says, "I love you", I reply in kind, and then departs for his room.

As he is headed to his room, I hear him snickering to himself. And I am *very* suspicious, *very* suddenly.

Then it hits me.

He has mastered the art of the "hit&run" as it's known at our house- the laying of a silent gaseous cloud so fierce I nearly retch, and get this:

He thinks it's funny.

I really do have 3 brothers, so I should be used to it by now, but *really* . My own son!

I need to go scrub out my nose. And invest in a lot of Glade.

I do love him- I mentioned that, right?

home WORK

I love my kids more than breath and all that good stuff.

My TallBoy is apparently intent on inventing or discovering as many possible ways to make me completely aggravated if not downright MAD in as short a time as possible.

He has been going through a growth spurt (AGAIN!) and so is all grumpy and generally miserable. I feel some compassion for him because the poor guy keeps banging his legs on the railings of his loft bed as he sleeps in addition to growth pains.

He's also doing his pretty typical bored as heck gifted kid dance, and I have totally lost patience with this sorry state of affairs. His grades and effort (or lack of it) towards them has me completely stymied me in every possible way. I recently checked his grades online and discovered a class with a single digit percentage for his overall grade. I try to be pretty relaxed and understanding but completely failed at this endeavor after this information.

I know I have to let him make his own mistakes and deal with his own consequences. I know that this is his future and his responsibility. However being his mother and knowing he's capable of much more than a single digit percentage or "skating by" in several other classes is enough to bring about my more forceful and authoritative nature.

Consequences mean I have to enforce them, though. And man, that can be a lot of work.

We haven't had the TV on since Monday, and I didn't realize how much I could get done with it off. I have cooked dinner 3 times this week (a genuine miracle, I tell you) and laundry, dishes and vacuuming have gotten done as well. There might be something to the "turn your TV off" week after all.

yeah, more housework...

as much as I grumble, I like the results. But sticking to it has been a test.

Maybe TallBoy will actually PASS a test, too?

The Myth of Teenagers

There's a popular myth (or urban legend) out there in society that the moment your child turns 13, they become a member of an alien species known as Teen.

Apparently members of the Teen species are rude, insolent, smelly, disobedient, defiant and totally spiteful to their immediate family members as a matter of course. That the Teen species is allowed to full maturation is some sort of heroic effort on the families' parts and is worthy of medals and so on.

I have heard countless tales of how Teens have caused stress, financial hardship, family dissonance, grey hair, hurt feelings and even visits from the legal authorities.

I don't doubt the validity of the stories at all. I doubt the assumption or "pack mentality" that seems to go with Teens, implying that total "DEVO-lution" is inevitable and there is nothing to be done except to grit teeth and hope for the best.

I'm here to bust that myth right open.

Teens are not so dang bad. I honestly don't know a single one that I would characterize as a "bad kid". I do know of one or two who are dealing with bad life choices, in conjunction with parents that don't understand, like or enjoy them.

I think that's the key. I think it's important to like your kid for the people they are, and not who you want them to be.

I LIKE mine. He's smart, funny, independent, thoughtful, compassionate, obsessive, responsible and yes, at times, REALLY annoying. But he is a truly cool guy.

I don't do as many things with him as I did when he was little. Some of that is due to his really INDEPENDENT streak, and some is due to interests. He likes activities that until recently had no appeal to me.

I believe in "active parenting" (if that's a term) so I recognized that I was shortchanging TallBoy and set out to at least TRY his favorite activities.

I was wildly successful at headbanging- I have had lots of practice. However, a headache and bad hair resulted, so I don't do it a lot. He gets his love of reading from me, so trying that was no problem- except reading is fairly solitary and it didn't really add to our shared experiences. I tried Airsoft, but I really, really, really hate guns (even pretend ones) so that did not go well at all. I love basketball, but I am completely uncoordinated (dancing is not the only gross motor skill I lack) and so while it was fun, it was humiliating. And so on- I tried lots of his favorite things, and for the most part, I either had fun but won't do it again or hated it with a passion.

Until painting miniatures. I totally get why he spends so much time with his little metal guys. I do. They are very much like scrapbooking or cards- no right way or wrong way to do it. There's a lot of color choices in painting metal figures- and while I am not a trendy or fabulous scrapper/card maker, I have a good eye for color. So it totally translated to painting. Color is totally personal. So is style. Each figure I painted had it's own character and moments where I was equally frustrated and happy.

And now I have an activity I can sit and do with him, quietly- not invading his space, but being with him. Being there; available. He enjoys painting with me, and so I continue to paint (probably taking longer than I need to on my last two guys in order to spend time with him) and enjoy a new found hobby as well as the fun guy that is TallBoy.

He is also an avid cook, and loves spending time learning new recipes in the kitchen with me. He can make spaghetti, mac & cheese, eggs, bacon, grilled cheese, french toast, hamburger helper, cheeseburger soup and of course, biscuits and three different kinds of cookies. We're working on bread- bread is a process, though. I tend to use the recipe as a guide but work by smell and texture. It's been interesting teaching "texture" to him. But he listens and likes the adventure, so I keep at it.

I love being his mom. I love having a hand in helping him learn who he is, what works for him, and what does not. I love those "aha" moments where he totally GETS something I have been trying to explain to him. I love calling my dad up with yet another of his impossible to answer questions. (My dad knows everything, or at least says he does, haha.) I love tucking his way too big body into his bed at night. I love scaring him to pieces by coming around the corner when he least expects it. (I am terrible, I know.) I love asking him to get something from the top shelf because he is, after all, TallBoy.

I like my kid and I am having the time of my life with him as a teen. Maybe it's me as the parent that is breaking all the rules, but my Teen is not becoming an alien. I'm actually getting to know him better.

Arg!

TallBoy went to Homecoming last night. With a girl.

It was just as friends, but this is by far the biggest development in his social life in years. He was so excited about it he couldn't sleep Thursday night and paced a lot.

The night started well- we had the girl over for homemade pizza and cookies. He wore a polo (he is strictly a T-shirt kid). He bought her a corsage and paid for her tickets. He held the door for her. I drove them over to the game and they hung out and talked while watching our team lose (horribly) again.

Then another boy shows up and hits on this girl (who TallBoy REALLY LIKES and has been slowly trying to earn a position as boyfriend material with) all night. In front of TallBoy.

I was elected driver to and from Homecoming as The Dude had to work at 5 am today and would need to go to bed early. I am usually in bed by 10 at the latest and stayed up until almost 1am with picking the kids up, driving her home and dealing with TallBoy.

TallBoy did not have a fun night. He's too nice to say anything to either the girl or the guy and spent most of the night moping and being full of angst.

Then TallBoy couldn't sleep and was up at 4am. The Dude and I offered some advice and tried to help him gain some perspective. Because like it or not, TallBoy is in high school and he will encounter this sort of situation again. And he needs some help dealing with it.

While TallBoy was off at Homecoming, I made some cards. Mostly birthday cards, but a couple all occasion as well. I already had a large collection of "thank you"s made so I didn't need any of those. I took pictures of the ones I made and the ones I had to upload and show off. I also took pictures of my Khador figs and a scrapbook I am working on, for a virtual "progress report".

I am still using our backup computer because our regular one is STILL SICK from the dang virus. The backup computer does not have a memory card reader.

Arg!

Entering Foreign Territory- Teen Dating

Well, color me befuddled.

My darling, adorable, freckled, super-cute "little star" went and got to be "TallBoy" and in the process has developed attractiveness to the girl kind.

GULP.

I'm actually pretty relaxed about it, but it is fairly amusing to me that my sweaty, smelly, not-entirely-social teen boy has suddenly turned into an obsessive neat freak that showers a million times a week and has a girl (and sometimes more than one) calling/texting/hanging out with him in a matter of WEEKS.

Gotta love the senior factor of Fin- but TallBoy did a lot of this himself. He is very confident about himself and does not let anyone else change the way he acts or what he does. He likes games, action movies, painting miniatures, reading way out there fantasy/sci-fi/morbid vampire stuff (um, he's MY kid) and is not really all that shallow. He doesn't kowtow or follow the back at ALL.

All this time he's been a little "different"; he's been lying in wait for someone to discover that he's ok for who HE is. He recently found a couple of girls who have figured out that his being "weird" is actually a GOOD thing, because he is not interested in acting like an idiot to impress his "buddies"- he wants to impress the GIRL.

He has been actively showing off his cooking skills ( I am also teaching him laundry so he will make good husband material) and has introduced quite a few of his friends to a large number of new bands out of our 1500+CD library. He likes poetry and actually has an interest in acting, so he's been getting loads of female attention lately.

And it is crazy. As a mom, I am just incredulous- but thrilled.

One of the girls he's interested in (at least a little, but possibly longer term than not) is the former girlfriend of Fin. I warned TallBoy of the potential for drama- quite loudly. This girl is so cute I'd hit on her if I were male. She's also 17 and drives. I heard a few interesting comments about the age difference; but The Dude is almost 6.5 years older than I am, so I can't really say a lot. I CAN give good advice. I talk to TallBoy a lot about a variety of things and amazingly enough, he listens. Mostly.

The other girl is one much closer to his age, but VERY recently broke up with one of TallBoy's friends' brothers. More drama, anyone? Again, I have very little room to talk as I dated The Dude's roommate before I dated The Dude, and The Dude dated my former best friend.

Ah, the nature of relationships and how they become tangled. I CAN give good advice, though. TallBoy listens- mostly.

TallBoy and the younger girl (no nickname as yet) are going to Homecoming "as friends". TallBoy had not completely thought about this proposition as he did not know or understand that he was paying for WAY more than his ticket. (Her ticket, a flower/corsage, meal... ) I WILL teach this boy manners if it kills me.

He does not know if she is interested in him as a "boyfriend" yet, but she's been at our house 4 nights this week. She's enjoyed herself with him and has asked to come over again.

So far we've set some house rules- but "dating" has not officially begun. I am not sure I am ready- but I can't fail HIM either.

I just have to learn how to hide grey hair.

Introducing "Them"

I thought I would share some pictures of my TallBoy and SweetPea, since they are featured here very frequently.

I haven't posted a lot lately. I have been scrapbooking (5 whole pages done, WOOT), painting my freshly donated Khador Kommandos (thanks, Squirl!), baking peach cobbler (I'll post about that shortly), watching Olympics, sending my kids to their first day of high school and jr high (oldest & youngest), and sorting 10-20K of Magic cards (amount, not value).

I have been BUSY! I hope to have some time to talk about my newest gaming finds and some other cool stuff in my universe soon.

TallBoy goes to HIgh School

TallBoy is 14 (and a half). He is tall and lanky, full of sharp edges and bony parts. He doesn't hug well anymore because he is *taller than me* (the NERVE) and all poky.



He starts high school tomorrow.

He is on his way to being his own independent person. His future is full of new people, new things to try, and choices- about his life path and how he becomes who he is meant to be.

I trust him to make good choices. He has a level head and he knows himself VERY well. He's a moral, thoughtful, considerate and deliberate kid. He rarely does things 'on the fly' - he is usually the 'man with the plan'. He's also a little different from most of the kids in our little town. He's very serious, and only plays basketball for fun *he's not very good at it*. He likes reading, painting miniatures for WarMachine or Hordes, and gaming. (Yeah, he's a product of The Dude and I. NO Question about it.)

He made friends with a young man I'll call Fin at church over the summer. Fin is a senior, and is a LOT like TallBoy. He's serious, a little "different" (he's sporting blue hair and Hot Topic gear today), not a jock but more of a word nerd, and he's a GOOD KID.

The two of them have spent a lot of time at each other's houses, playing video games and talking music. Fin CALLS TallBoy to hang out. Fin shows up when he says he will. Fin LIKES TallBoy and is not "using him" nor is he calling Tallboy as a backup when other plans fall through. Fin "GETS" TallBoy. They are really becoming good friends, and I am glad.

This year will be a good thing for TallBoy- a senior friend, rides when he wants/needs them (Fin is very generous with his Jeep), and someone that understands him. It will also be a challenge- Fin and TallBoy are as I said, a little different. We will see how things go, but I am excited and a little nervous.

I am the mother of a high schooler. EEK.