Minions

I love to joke about being a terrible tyrant rather than a mother. It's big fun to tease the kids that they are merely minions here to serve me. I even give them titles and areas over which they are responsible.

TrashRemoverMan and LaundryLady live at my house and they live to serve me.

Mwahahahahahahha!

More birthday related

TallBoy turned 16 yesterday. Many jokes were made about the roads not being safe, and much ado was had over his immense tallness , and he had a wonderful day.

He's actually been driving on a permit for over a year now and is a very good driver. He hates the interstate with a passion and nearly begs me not to make him drive down it when we go somewhere.

He did indeed grow again and I am thinking of hiding the Cheez-Its because they are Proven(TM) to make him grow taller.

He went to game and actually got to do a few very cool things, and enjoyed being sung to by a large group of people. Our dear friend Squirl (who is VERY hard to say no to) convinced SweetPea to lead the Gang in the rousing chorus of "Happy Birthday".

Is it bad to admit I enjoyed watching her squirm, just a little?

It was a good day, though.

It was NOT freezing cold. It was not frostbite inducing. It was not so harsh it hurt to breathe. ALl of those conditions were present 16 eyars ago the day that darn PeskyBaby(TM) was born. He did grow into the TallBoy- all Knees, Neck & Elbows, and tall enough to get the rice down from on top of the cabinets.

It's an honor to be his mom. I love being part of his development. Sometimes I am shocked at how well he's turned out- he's a GOOD KID. I think I'll keep him for a little bit longer.

Go away 18, I am not ready yet.

Mom Powers

A few months ago, TallBoy was in his room, being good and quiet and leaving me alone. His music was on at a tolerable level and he was not doing anything wrong. (All was good in the world!)

I was in the living room and watching TV quietly. I made the realization that TallBoy had not showered in *too long* and decided he needed to do so.

I sent him a text message. "You need to take a shower."

His reply: "How can you smell me through four rooms and a door?"

Me: "Mom Powers"

TallBoy was beside himself and made a big fuss about it, but did shower. He STILL uses this instance to discuss how UNFAIR my mom talents are. (I'm also capable of hearing muttered bad words from several rooms away and of knowing homework is not turned in. Just unfair.)

Monday, he was sitting next to me on the couch and cuddling me. He was being good and courteous and helping get me beverages or books or what have you as my leg & foot tried to heal.

I looked over at him and noticed something in his pocket, so I poked it. I did not ask him what it was or say anything about it, I just thought about what it might be. (this whole series of events only took about 10 seconds, maybe) It was rectangular, flat, thin and stiff. It was not a cell phone as that is in my room. It was not keys (wrong shape and size). It was not money. Though it was the right size, it did not have bumps on it and he is too young so it was not a credit card. I quickly deduced it was

"Student ID"

TallBoy's mouth dropped open. He looked at The Dude with this "WTH" expression on his face. He said:

"How does she DO that?!!! How did she KNOW? I just got it today and I didn't even tell her about it! It's just WRONG!"

My reply:

"Mom Powers".

Most of the time my "mom powers" are me being MUCH more observant than I let on. I spend a lot of time acting a little distracted (and sometimes I really am distracted) so my kids tell me things they would never say if they thought I was paying attention. They may not say it out loud, but I watch them and know their body language. I know their moods and habits. I know them very well, because I pay attention. Just quietly.

Other times it is my "been there, done that" experiences. It wasn't that long ago that I was a teenager and I remember some of the things I dealt with all too well. I use my youth to my advantage when dealing with my kids.

Someday I may let my children in on the parental secret. That we're not so dumb after all.

But for now it's a lot more fun to let the TallBoy think I'm some kind of freak, and that I have

Mom Powers.