jimbo update
7 months ago
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
All Kidding Aside
I don't have kids anymore, I have teenagers!
My lovely girl turns 13 today. I am so tremendously proud of everything she is, all that she wants to be, and every possibility she entertains for herself. She is a fun, cool, silly, wacky, wonderful, ever-changing and always challenging person.
I adore my beautiful girl and hope that she gets everything she wants, needs and deserves- today, tomorrow and always.
My lovely girl turns 13 today. I am so tremendously proud of everything she is, all that she wants to be, and every possibility she entertains for herself. She is a fun, cool, silly, wacky, wonderful, ever-changing and always challenging person.
I adore my beautiful girl and hope that she gets everything she wants, needs and deserves- today, tomorrow and always.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Stretchy
Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend the day with my dad on a road trip. I brought my wonderful SweetPea along for some quality "Poppa" time. We drove about 2 hours north of where he lives (very close to his hometowm) and spent the day watching a small start up wrestling federation at a local mall. They were putting on a free show to expand interest in their little group and get some fans.
FULL DISCLOSURE:
I love professional wrestling. LOVE IT. This is a gushy "marked-out" post and I will not apologize.
Back to the action:
My dad's got a good friend in his life that had been heavily involved in this promotion until about 2 months ago. She came along with on this trip. She knows the owners, the bookers, the gorilla, some of the talent, etc. We got their early and got GREAT seats, and she chatted with the various VIPS for a bit. It was kind of neat to watch her in her element.
The show starts out with some of the brand new talent- and some of them are pretty good, while one was HILARIOUSLY bad. I laughed at a lot of the blown spots but really enjoyed it. There were two exceptionally high points I just have to share:
One- they had this cute kid going by the name of "Juice Robinson" wrestling. SweetPea & I often discuss "hot guys" with each other and have a good time pointing them out when we see them. Juice came out and her exact words were:
"WOW!"
She then proceeded to turn as pink as her shirt.
yeah, wow.
The next moment (or set of them, really) was a young guy named GT Vega. He was a fan favorite and VERY talented. SweetPea let out a squeal/squeek noise when she saw him, and when he got up on the turnbuckle, she was pointing and fanning herself at the same time. She was a pretty dang funny sight. (I was on the aisle seat, one row away from the stairs. I got some GREAT pictures.) Vega entering the ring :
Not bad!
Vega on the ropes- oh, yum!
And the best- My dad's friend went and talked to the back stage manager (the gorilla) and asked if Vega would come out and sign an autograph for SweetPea- but it was all hush hush and SweetPea had NO IDEA it was happening until the manager tapped her on the shoulder and told her to come with him for a minute. He was taking her backstage!
SweetPea just about cried she was so excited- and I asked if I could take a quick picture. By then, Vega had come out and signed and posed- just for SweetPea. She was SO excited, she could hardly contain herself. She was just a little self conscious, but happy as can be. Here she is with Vega-
She then attacked our friend with the world's greatest hug:
I love that my kids have so many people that love them in their lives. I love that my family keeps expanding and that we're a lot like the spandex the wrestlers wore yesterday- stretchy enough to wrap around a lot, but strong enough to hold it tight.
FULL DISCLOSURE:
I love professional wrestling. LOVE IT. This is a gushy "marked-out" post and I will not apologize.
Back to the action:
My dad's got a good friend in his life that had been heavily involved in this promotion until about 2 months ago. She came along with on this trip. She knows the owners, the bookers, the gorilla, some of the talent, etc. We got their early and got GREAT seats, and she chatted with the various VIPS for a bit. It was kind of neat to watch her in her element.
The show starts out with some of the brand new talent- and some of them are pretty good, while one was HILARIOUSLY bad. I laughed at a lot of the blown spots but really enjoyed it. There were two exceptionally high points I just have to share:
One- they had this cute kid going by the name of "Juice Robinson" wrestling. SweetPea & I often discuss "hot guys" with each other and have a good time pointing them out when we see them. Juice came out and her exact words were:
"WOW!"
She then proceeded to turn as pink as her shirt.
yeah, wow.
The next moment (or set of them, really) was a young guy named GT Vega. He was a fan favorite and VERY talented. SweetPea let out a squeal/squeek noise when she saw him, and when he got up on the turnbuckle, she was pointing and fanning herself at the same time. She was a pretty dang funny sight. (I was on the aisle seat, one row away from the stairs. I got some GREAT pictures.) Vega entering the ring :
Not bad!
Vega on the ropes- oh, yum!
And the best- My dad's friend went and talked to the back stage manager (the gorilla) and asked if Vega would come out and sign an autograph for SweetPea- but it was all hush hush and SweetPea had NO IDEA it was happening until the manager tapped her on the shoulder and told her to come with him for a minute. He was taking her backstage!
SweetPea just about cried she was so excited- and I asked if I could take a quick picture. By then, Vega had come out and signed and posed- just for SweetPea. She was SO excited, she could hardly contain herself. She was just a little self conscious, but happy as can be. Here she is with Vega-
She then attacked our friend with the world's greatest hug:
I love that my kids have so many people that love them in their lives. I love that my family keeps expanding and that we're a lot like the spandex the wrestlers wore yesterday- stretchy enough to wrap around a lot, but strong enough to hold it tight.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Busted!
So the creep that started all the fires here in our little town has been arrested. He's a member of a family that is just a little known around here and when I heard who it was, I was not surprised. Sad, though. He apparently was on a wide variety of drugs & then had a bottle or 2 of something also at the time. I had a pointed conversation with my kids about these facts, as the guy is 17. I know my kids a little better than that, but if nothing else, he can serve as a horrible warning.
My washer broke last week. This is ultimate sadness as there is no laundromat anywhere near our little town and lugging laundry to my mother-in-law's home is a HUGE pain in my rear.
This week is Homecoming week at our little school and of course that means SpiritWeek. Today was "Dress Like a Hobo" day. TallBoy decided to dress like our friend Tom's character from the World of Darkness game we play. Tom's character is a "little touched" as they say; and often does nonsensical things. One of his most famous "bits" is carrying a non-functional lightbulb because it "illuminates" things. Here's TallBoy as "Coyote Joe":
One of my turn signal lights is out and now my car makes that annoying superfast click noise when I signal. I need a bulb, and it needs to function.
My washer broke last week. This is ultimate sadness as there is no laundromat anywhere near our little town and lugging laundry to my mother-in-law's home is a HUGE pain in my rear.
This week is Homecoming week at our little school and of course that means SpiritWeek. Today was "Dress Like a Hobo" day. TallBoy decided to dress like our friend Tom's character from the World of Darkness game we play. Tom's character is a "little touched" as they say; and often does nonsensical things. One of his most famous "bits" is carrying a non-functional lightbulb because it "illuminates" things. Here's TallBoy as "Coyote Joe":
One of my turn signal lights is out and now my car makes that annoying superfast click noise when I signal. I need a bulb, and it needs to function.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Fire Bad
Many apologies to Camp Chaos...
My little town was hit by a string of arsons last night. From what I've heard, they were all further south of me and they were all focused on cars or garages.
I'd always assumed fire would be the last of my worries out here. I live directly across from the pump house, there's a hydrant across the street from me, and the south station is literally less than 100 feet from my house.
I guess that only helps if the firemen are only fighting YOUR fire and not 6 different ones. At 2 in the morning. The fires went on until almost 6 am. The arsonists went through yards, hitting new targets just as the fire crews were cleaning up from one place, so they were literally rolling from one fire to the next.
Our little volunteer corps deserves a great many thanks, as do all the coops that came to help prevent the fires from spreading further.
I hope they, and our town get some sleep tonight. We're a little jumpy.
My little town was hit by a string of arsons last night. From what I've heard, they were all further south of me and they were all focused on cars or garages.
I'd always assumed fire would be the last of my worries out here. I live directly across from the pump house, there's a hydrant across the street from me, and the south station is literally less than 100 feet from my house.
I guess that only helps if the firemen are only fighting YOUR fire and not 6 different ones. At 2 in the morning. The fires went on until almost 6 am. The arsonists went through yards, hitting new targets just as the fire crews were cleaning up from one place, so they were literally rolling from one fire to the next.
Our little volunteer corps deserves a great many thanks, as do all the coops that came to help prevent the fires from spreading further.
I hope they, and our town get some sleep tonight. We're a little jumpy.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Not Too Shabby Herself
(This post was written Saturday...)
Today was our little town's Fall Festival type thing. There's a car show (in my front yard, and those dang car guys do NOT care on whit that it is rude to rev an engine early in the am!), vendors, food, games, contests, etc.
SweetPea is a true star in the making. She wants to sing, dance, write, create, design clothes- if it is creative and "over the top", she wants to do it- and do it WELL. She is completely comfortable as a performer and cannot WAIT to get solos and be 'famous'. I am always listening to her practice, and always impressed with her intensity.
She entered the KrazyKostume Kontest and the Talent Show. She was completely at ease in front of the whole town- even parading around with flair and abandon in her getup. She sang Green Day's Viva La Gloria during the talent show and was totally comfortable with the modern day punk ballad.
I listened from my spot down the street, waiting to see how she did. A little later I saw her "sneaking" down the street with SOMETHING sort of hidden behind her. I giggled at her enthusiasm and desire to surprise me, so I pretended not to see.
She got a big fat trophy! She won 2nd place. She's a total rock star in the making... and I know her now, when she is sweet, and funny, and tender, and wacky and totally HER.
Here's a few pictures- she was in a fashion show a couple weeks ago, and then her costume and her trophy.
The Fashionista!
her wacky costume!
the trophy! It's SHINY!!!!!
Look at that beautiful girl! I am so proud of her- because she's doing what she loves and she has no fear. Wahoo!
Today was our little town's Fall Festival type thing. There's a car show (in my front yard, and those dang car guys do NOT care on whit that it is rude to rev an engine early in the am!), vendors, food, games, contests, etc.
SweetPea is a true star in the making. She wants to sing, dance, write, create, design clothes- if it is creative and "over the top", she wants to do it- and do it WELL. She is completely comfortable as a performer and cannot WAIT to get solos and be 'famous'. I am always listening to her practice, and always impressed with her intensity.
She entered the KrazyKostume Kontest and the Talent Show. She was completely at ease in front of the whole town- even parading around with flair and abandon in her getup. She sang Green Day's Viva La Gloria during the talent show and was totally comfortable with the modern day punk ballad.
I listened from my spot down the street, waiting to see how she did. A little later I saw her "sneaking" down the street with SOMETHING sort of hidden behind her. I giggled at her enthusiasm and desire to surprise me, so I pretended not to see.
She got a big fat trophy! She won 2nd place. She's a total rock star in the making... and I know her now, when she is sweet, and funny, and tender, and wacky and totally HER.
Here's a few pictures- she was in a fashion show a couple weeks ago, and then her costume and her trophy.
The Fashionista!
her wacky costume!
the trophy! It's SHINY!!!!!
Look at that beautiful girl! I am so proud of her- because she's doing what she loves and she has no fear. Wahoo!
Friday, September 11, 2009
More words than normal today
Life has a funny way of telling you how small your world is when you least expect it, and showing you the treasures you never knew you had right under your nose.
We recently heard that one of TallBoy's friends from church lost his mom to cancer. This buddy has a very special place in MY heart (although I don't think he knows it) because he reminds me SOOOOOOOOOO much of my middle brother. They are built in a very similar fashion, they talk and act very alike, they dress in very similar ways and even like the same kind of music. I quite honestly did a large number of double takes when I first met him because he resembled my brother SO much I was having a hard time figuring out what he (my brother) was doing 500 miles from home.
TallBoy and I discuss how TallBoy feels about this whole deal- someone he knows and cares about is hurting and needs friends to be around him, to support him, and to listen to whatever might be on the friend's mind. TallBoy agreed very strongly that he should attend the visitation and offer whatever support he could to his friend.
I heard about a local Blogger's Toys For Troops rallies, and came out to help a while ago. I sent out emails to friends and family that understand supporting troops in physical ways, gathered my kids and took them with me to a day of gift sorting & present wrapping. I made Christmas cards to send out. I still have a batch of thank you cards for her next batch of goodies to go out.
This lady, My fellow Blogger over at This Just In was relaying over the course of several months (if not longer) that she was losing her sister to cancer. I didn't say a lot about it, but I kept GnightGirl's family in my prayers as they dealt with the many "whammy"s of cancer and grief.
When she announced the death of her sister and gave details on the service, I was stunned to realize that her sister was also TallBoy's buddy's mom.
The day of the visitation, TallBoy was sick, so I went in his place. I knew two of the people touched by this woman's life, and I had as much compassion and concern as TallBoy- it was just different. TallBoy's friend was very surprised to learn I knew his aunt, but it was a good time.
TallBoy felt better, and went to the funeral, burial, and church luncheon to be a support for his friend. I honestly couldn't be prouder of him than I am right now.
I really don't have a lot I am super passionate about (as discussed previously), but compassion is something I am HUGE on. I never know if my lessons and examples make their mark on my children. I never know if I am truly passing on my values or if my kids just pay lip service while they are still home to get me off their backs.
TallBoy showed not only me, but himself and his buddy, that he GETS it. Caring about other people's feelings is important and it should be DONE. He didn't care that it was uncomfortable, or hard, or a distraction. He just did what was RIGHT and offered the only thing he had to his friend- his presence.
I am so completely thrilled with him. He's truly a fine young man, and I saw just a glimmer of the great potential he has within him.
We recently heard that one of TallBoy's friends from church lost his mom to cancer. This buddy has a very special place in MY heart (although I don't think he knows it) because he reminds me SOOOOOOOOOO much of my middle brother. They are built in a very similar fashion, they talk and act very alike, they dress in very similar ways and even like the same kind of music. I quite honestly did a large number of double takes when I first met him because he resembled my brother SO much I was having a hard time figuring out what he (my brother) was doing 500 miles from home.
TallBoy and I discuss how TallBoy feels about this whole deal- someone he knows and cares about is hurting and needs friends to be around him, to support him, and to listen to whatever might be on the friend's mind. TallBoy agreed very strongly that he should attend the visitation and offer whatever support he could to his friend.
I heard about a local Blogger's Toys For Troops rallies, and came out to help a while ago. I sent out emails to friends and family that understand supporting troops in physical ways, gathered my kids and took them with me to a day of gift sorting & present wrapping. I made Christmas cards to send out. I still have a batch of thank you cards for her next batch of goodies to go out.
This lady, My fellow Blogger over at This Just In was relaying over the course of several months (if not longer) that she was losing her sister to cancer. I didn't say a lot about it, but I kept GnightGirl's family in my prayers as they dealt with the many "whammy"s of cancer and grief.
When she announced the death of her sister and gave details on the service, I was stunned to realize that her sister was also TallBoy's buddy's mom.
The day of the visitation, TallBoy was sick, so I went in his place. I knew two of the people touched by this woman's life, and I had as much compassion and concern as TallBoy- it was just different. TallBoy's friend was very surprised to learn I knew his aunt, but it was a good time.
TallBoy felt better, and went to the funeral, burial, and church luncheon to be a support for his friend. I honestly couldn't be prouder of him than I am right now.
I really don't have a lot I am super passionate about (as discussed previously), but compassion is something I am HUGE on. I never know if my lessons and examples make their mark on my children. I never know if I am truly passing on my values or if my kids just pay lip service while they are still home to get me off their backs.
TallBoy showed not only me, but himself and his buddy, that he GETS it. Caring about other people's feelings is important and it should be DONE. He didn't care that it was uncomfortable, or hard, or a distraction. He just did what was RIGHT and offered the only thing he had to his friend- his presence.
I am so completely thrilled with him. He's truly a fine young man, and I saw just a glimmer of the great potential he has within him.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Surprises
I did not know that I cared even a little how I performed in relation to others; I am not terribly competitive at all. Usually I care most about how I am doing vs myself. If I have set a goal and I am closer to it this time than the last time I set the same goal, then...tada, improvement. I am satisfied by doing my best, and by seeing other people happy through my work.
Then this career in insurance came about... and it is very competitive. Everything is a contest in some way at my office. I usually ignore it as it doesn't really motivate me in any way. I sit next to and across from the two "go getters" in my office and that is usually more than enough competitive thinking for me for a whole year.
Something funny happened recently. We're in the biggest sales contest of the year, and I was in the lead for the first 2 weeks. It was really a major surprise to discover how much I liked being FIRST on that list of agents. During this contest, I have been in the top three the whole time. It's kind of exciting.
I am in the last week and will need to pull something out of my rear to place any higher than third, but for me, third would be HUGE.
I want to win something. Who knew?
Then this career in insurance came about... and it is very competitive. Everything is a contest in some way at my office. I usually ignore it as it doesn't really motivate me in any way. I sit next to and across from the two "go getters" in my office and that is usually more than enough competitive thinking for me for a whole year.
Something funny happened recently. We're in the biggest sales contest of the year, and I was in the lead for the first 2 weeks. It was really a major surprise to discover how much I liked being FIRST on that list of agents. During this contest, I have been in the top three the whole time. It's kind of exciting.
I am in the last week and will need to pull something out of my rear to place any higher than third, but for me, third would be HUGE.
I want to win something. Who knew?
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thank Heaven for Husbands
I can't tell you enough how much I love and appreciate mine today.
I love you, Darling Dude!
That is all.
I love you, Darling Dude!
That is all.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
So a while ago I joined the ranks of the Facebook folks. It's been interesting. I use it mostly to talk to my brother in Arkansas, my former high school best friends, and of all people,
The Dude (!)
I've had longer, better, and more in-depth conversations with the Dude via chat than I'm able to in person many times. If there was only a "hug" feature, Facebook would be the champion of my marriage right now.
I have to be a little careful- the Dude tends to have the monitor so anyone can see the screen, and I've been known to send him a racy note or two. But it makes my life a little interesting. I like interesting.
I love that I can pop on, talk to my wonderful man for a few minutes, and then jet about on with my regular day. FB chat makes my evenings go more quickly, helps me keep things in perspective, and generally reminds me that there are two of us in this crazy partnership. It makes going to bed alone a little more tolerable.
The Dude (!)
I've had longer, better, and more in-depth conversations with the Dude via chat than I'm able to in person many times. If there was only a "hug" feature, Facebook would be the champion of my marriage right now.
I have to be a little careful- the Dude tends to have the monitor so anyone can see the screen, and I've been known to send him a racy note or two. But it makes my life a little interesting. I like interesting.
I love that I can pop on, talk to my wonderful man for a few minutes, and then jet about on with my regular day. FB chat makes my evenings go more quickly, helps me keep things in perspective, and generally reminds me that there are two of us in this crazy partnership. It makes going to bed alone a little more tolerable.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
More on Passion
In the Family Fued kind of world, if you were to ask a set group of people who is more passionate- the Dude or me, the answer would almost definitely be The Dude.
He's a red head. He's got a hot temper. He likes to share his opinion, usually loudly, with anyone within the room/town/county. He gets upset about a great many things and he feels that it is only fair that he share the misery/outrage/etc.
As a rule, I am viewed as the more level headed, calm and understanding one. I am usually able to smooth things out or offer a soothing voice to a solution. I am often seen as moderate. Usually, that view is correct.
I am pretty open minded about things. I try not to have a set opinion about very much. I learned the lesson of critical thinking very well, and I work hard to understand both sides of an issue. I am very capable of viewing both sides of an arguement and identifying and feeling compassion for both.
Some people call this sort of thinking "wishy-washy". I call it fair.
I value this ability very highly- it is one of the strongest reasons I am so good at my job. The talent for seeing someone else's perspective and challenges is valued very highly in my field, and I use it to my advantage as often as I can.
I'm pretty fair about most things. But there are things I am firm on- there's a line in the sand and I'll cause irreparable damage to anyone that crosses it.
The things I am passionate about include being a fantastic wife, and an outstanding mother.
I have to admit I fell down on the job for many years as a wife, and I still haven't completely forgiven myself. I know I have not always supported The Dude as well as I should or could have, and our relationship certainly suffered for it. I am making a concerted effort to be sure to demonstrate in word AND action how passionate I am about being his number one defender. He deserves to have a champion that backs him and supports him with love and respect, and I am trying my best to accomplish that.
I'm working on being the best mom ever, but it's a work in progress and there's just no way I will ever measure up to the awesome kids I've been blessed with. I keep trying, and love them all the same.
The Dude might be more outspoken, more obviously stricken with passions, and more vehement about the "wrongs" in the world- but I feel very sorry for the person that stands between me and my calling to be a wife, or mother. I might do a lot worse than with hold fudge...
He's a red head. He's got a hot temper. He likes to share his opinion, usually loudly, with anyone within the room/town/county. He gets upset about a great many things and he feels that it is only fair that he share the misery/outrage/etc.
As a rule, I am viewed as the more level headed, calm and understanding one. I am usually able to smooth things out or offer a soothing voice to a solution. I am often seen as moderate. Usually, that view is correct.
I am pretty open minded about things. I try not to have a set opinion about very much. I learned the lesson of critical thinking very well, and I work hard to understand both sides of an issue. I am very capable of viewing both sides of an arguement and identifying and feeling compassion for both.
Some people call this sort of thinking "wishy-washy". I call it fair.
I value this ability very highly- it is one of the strongest reasons I am so good at my job. The talent for seeing someone else's perspective and challenges is valued very highly in my field, and I use it to my advantage as often as I can.
I'm pretty fair about most things. But there are things I am firm on- there's a line in the sand and I'll cause irreparable damage to anyone that crosses it.
The things I am passionate about include being a fantastic wife, and an outstanding mother.
I have to admit I fell down on the job for many years as a wife, and I still haven't completely forgiven myself. I know I have not always supported The Dude as well as I should or could have, and our relationship certainly suffered for it. I am making a concerted effort to be sure to demonstrate in word AND action how passionate I am about being his number one defender. He deserves to have a champion that backs him and supports him with love and respect, and I am trying my best to accomplish that.
I'm working on being the best mom ever, but it's a work in progress and there's just no way I will ever measure up to the awesome kids I've been blessed with. I keep trying, and love them all the same.
The Dude might be more outspoken, more obviously stricken with passions, and more vehement about the "wrongs" in the world- but I feel very sorry for the person that stands between me and my calling to be a wife, or mother. I might do a lot worse than with hold fudge...
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Passion
So, in my real life, The Dude and I own a small retail store.
No, that's a lie.
We own an awesome game store that brings complete and total happiness to the man I adore. We offer a home, a community, a PLACE to be to our local gaming friends & family and we happen to do it while making sales and staying afloat.
We are totally passionate about this place. It is vital, essential and tantamount to our day to day operations. We work hard to make it a going concern and are always looking for ways to grow. We constantly work to offer more value and something better to the folks that make the store successful.
We didn't do it on our own- we inherited/bought the store from some other local guys that wanted a place where everyone was welcome, and we've poured our hearts into it ever since.
The energy, the enthusiasm, the utter passion- they are wonderful and I am glad they finally have a place to go...
The game store.... OUR game store.
No, that's a lie.
We own an awesome game store that brings complete and total happiness to the man I adore. We offer a home, a community, a PLACE to be to our local gaming friends & family and we happen to do it while making sales and staying afloat.
We are totally passionate about this place. It is vital, essential and tantamount to our day to day operations. We work hard to make it a going concern and are always looking for ways to grow. We constantly work to offer more value and something better to the folks that make the store successful.
We didn't do it on our own- we inherited/bought the store from some other local guys that wanted a place where everyone was welcome, and we've poured our hearts into it ever since.
The energy, the enthusiasm, the utter passion- they are wonderful and I am glad they finally have a place to go...
The game store.... OUR game store.
Monday, August 17, 2009
She can't roll in her grave, she is not dead yet
I recently discovered something very strange. I discovered the fiction of Christopher Buckley (William F Buckley Jr's son) and I REALLY like it.
I think the guy is hysterical! His sense of humor really appeals to me- finding amusement in the obscure and obscene. I just love his stuff. I've been devouring whatever I can get my hands on- and while I don't totally understand it all, I find myself nodding my head and enjoying what he has to say in the political world as well.
I don't think I will ever tell my mother. There are just some things you do not share or say to your parents.
Telling your ULTRA Liberal, super crunchy, VERY granola, totally leftist mother that you enjoy and identify with one of the leading conservatives in the nation....maybe I'll keep that to myself.
It's interesting to discover how different I am from my parents- but also just as interesting to see our similarities. I like myself more and more every day- because I become more and more myself and less impressionable.
But don't tell my mom. She wouldn't understand....
I think the guy is hysterical! His sense of humor really appeals to me- finding amusement in the obscure and obscene. I just love his stuff. I've been devouring whatever I can get my hands on- and while I don't totally understand it all, I find myself nodding my head and enjoying what he has to say in the political world as well.
I don't think I will ever tell my mother. There are just some things you do not share or say to your parents.
Telling your ULTRA Liberal, super crunchy, VERY granola, totally leftist mother that you enjoy and identify with one of the leading conservatives in the nation....maybe I'll keep that to myself.
It's interesting to discover how different I am from my parents- but also just as interesting to see our similarities. I like myself more and more every day- because I become more and more myself and less impressionable.
But don't tell my mom. She wouldn't understand....
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A Rose By Any Other Name- Or Something
A post on the message board I frequent brought this line of thinking about.
I really hate my name. My name has always felt weird or awkward on me. I have never felt it fit me. It doesn't feel like the person I am inside my head. I don't know what name would fit me better, but I know it isn't the name I have.
Plus, It's boring, and there is absolutely NO nickname for it. It's also VERY VERY American and it's darn near impossible to explain to someone from another country because there is nothing equivalent to it.
Most of the time, I usually answer to "hey" much better than my own name.
Sign me,
"Hey"
I really hate my name. My name has always felt weird or awkward on me. I have never felt it fit me. It doesn't feel like the person I am inside my head. I don't know what name would fit me better, but I know it isn't the name I have.
Plus, It's boring, and there is absolutely NO nickname for it. It's also VERY VERY American and it's darn near impossible to explain to someone from another country because there is nothing equivalent to it.
Most of the time, I usually answer to "hey" much better than my own name.
Sign me,
"Hey"
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Story of the Dude (Today)
Today marks my 18th wedding anniversary with The Dude.
18 years ago today, I walked down a sidewalk in a park, and let go of my family's hand to join my hand with The Dude's.
I'm leaving the man in my life, the guy I adore - still sleeping. I'm headed for Lafayette for work, and I'm tired. It's a long drive. I'm writing this in part as an anniversary present. I'm also writing it for me.
Our relationship has been a long road, but we have been on it together.
I know I can count on The Dude to be my friend, my support, my champion, my love, my husband and my mate through any challenge. I know that with The Dude, I can do anything. I know that what we have is special, and important, and worth fighting for. I know I have found the place I belong.
I believe that there are people that are meant for each other. I often told The Dude in our early years that "God knew what he was doing" when he put us together. I know without a doubt in my heart that our hearts, our minds and our lives were designed to work best together.
I am a part of something very special and very rare. I have true, honest, fierce and passionate love with someone I trust and admire.
I have found where I belong. I have found a person to cling to and hold tight.
I am home no matter where I go.
I am....
(Babe, you know the rest. Happy Anniversary.)
18 years ago today, I walked down a sidewalk in a park, and let go of my family's hand to join my hand with The Dude's.
I'm leaving the man in my life, the guy I adore - still sleeping. I'm headed for Lafayette for work, and I'm tired. It's a long drive. I'm writing this in part as an anniversary present. I'm also writing it for me.
Our relationship has been a long road, but we have been on it together.
I know I can count on The Dude to be my friend, my support, my champion, my love, my husband and my mate through any challenge. I know that with The Dude, I can do anything. I know that what we have is special, and important, and worth fighting for. I know I have found the place I belong.
I believe that there are people that are meant for each other. I often told The Dude in our early years that "God knew what he was doing" when he put us together. I know without a doubt in my heart that our hearts, our minds and our lives were designed to work best together.
I am a part of something very special and very rare. I have true, honest, fierce and passionate love with someone I trust and admire.
I have found where I belong. I have found a person to cling to and hold tight.
I am home no matter where I go.
I am....
(Babe, you know the rest. Happy Anniversary.)
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Story of the Dude (Returns & Rejoinders)
I spend another day with the Dude before I head out to my grandparents and then France.
I leave for another country feeling very good about myself- I have a boyfriend, I am going on an international adventure, and things are good.
For my exchange program, I've been paired with a 22 year old guy, but he has a younger sister who is 16 and I spend a bit more time with her.
My host family has a villa on the beach in St. Tropez, and we are spending 2 weeks there for their vacation. There are two Swiss boys about the same age as myself and my host sister, and they are WAY hot. They spend a good week hanging out with us on the beach, and there is a lot of good natured flirting. I enjoy my trip, but at one point I curse my timing and The Dude's presence in my life.
The moment where I wish my luck was different passes and I realize I have no chance with these very gorgeous men, and I am glad I have the Dude.
I come back in early August from my trip, and things with The Dude & I are intense. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the RIGHT guy for me, and I enjoy the deepening relationship. We've already been through a lot together, we've developed a strong friendship, and we have seen bad sides of each other. I am confident this is a good thing and will only grow.
The Dude and several room mates (including Tune) throw a party in the late summer- late August or early September to the best of my memory. The Dude has a few drinks. He's enjoying what he calls a "Piledriver"- a VERY strong screwdriver. I'm not drinking- just enjoying the music, having a nice time, and hanging out. The Dude is in his own apartment, he's a legal adult, and it's a party- so he continues to drink.
Music is playing, and he is laying with his head in my lap. He looks at me and says-
"Not to sound presumptuous or anything, but you WILL marry me, right?"
My world stops. I don't see anything but him for a moment. I consider how well I know him. I consider that my dad adores him. I consider that he has been nothing but good to me and that I am truly happy.
"Of course I will."
There's no further discussion- no date, no ring, no plans; just that we intend to get married. That's enough for me, and I am fairly settled on the idea of a long engagement at this point.
2 weeks later, we're alone. We're having a quiet moment, being tender and just relaxing with each other; and he says:
"I want you to marry me."
My comment - now hilariously funny- but at the time completely serious:
"I'll say what I said the first time; Of course"
The Dude responds true to form- a little oblivious:
"What first time?"
I go on to tell him in pretty graphic detail when, where, and how he initially proposed. The Dude is more than a little embarrassed to admit he remembers absolutely nothing of the situation until I remind him, as he had WAY too much to drink that night.
THIS is the beginning of our commitment to each other...
He doesn't remember his first outburst, and I am patient enough to forgive him.
I leave for another country feeling very good about myself- I have a boyfriend, I am going on an international adventure, and things are good.
For my exchange program, I've been paired with a 22 year old guy, but he has a younger sister who is 16 and I spend a bit more time with her.
My host family has a villa on the beach in St. Tropez, and we are spending 2 weeks there for their vacation. There are two Swiss boys about the same age as myself and my host sister, and they are WAY hot. They spend a good week hanging out with us on the beach, and there is a lot of good natured flirting. I enjoy my trip, but at one point I curse my timing and The Dude's presence in my life.
The moment where I wish my luck was different passes and I realize I have no chance with these very gorgeous men, and I am glad I have the Dude.
I come back in early August from my trip, and things with The Dude & I are intense. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the RIGHT guy for me, and I enjoy the deepening relationship. We've already been through a lot together, we've developed a strong friendship, and we have seen bad sides of each other. I am confident this is a good thing and will only grow.
The Dude and several room mates (including Tune) throw a party in the late summer- late August or early September to the best of my memory. The Dude has a few drinks. He's enjoying what he calls a "Piledriver"- a VERY strong screwdriver. I'm not drinking- just enjoying the music, having a nice time, and hanging out. The Dude is in his own apartment, he's a legal adult, and it's a party- so he continues to drink.
Music is playing, and he is laying with his head in my lap. He looks at me and says-
"Not to sound presumptuous or anything, but you WILL marry me, right?"
My world stops. I don't see anything but him for a moment. I consider how well I know him. I consider that my dad adores him. I consider that he has been nothing but good to me and that I am truly happy.
"Of course I will."
There's no further discussion- no date, no ring, no plans; just that we intend to get married. That's enough for me, and I am fairly settled on the idea of a long engagement at this point.
2 weeks later, we're alone. We're having a quiet moment, being tender and just relaxing with each other; and he says:
"I want you to marry me."
My comment - now hilariously funny- but at the time completely serious:
"I'll say what I said the first time; Of course"
The Dude responds true to form- a little oblivious:
"What first time?"
I go on to tell him in pretty graphic detail when, where, and how he initially proposed. The Dude is more than a little embarrassed to admit he remembers absolutely nothing of the situation until I remind him, as he had WAY too much to drink that night.
THIS is the beginning of our commitment to each other...
He doesn't remember his first outburst, and I am patient enough to forgive him.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
The Story of the Dude (Another Whammy and Another Country)
Those weird feelings keep coming. They aren't all the time, but they are consistent. They are also annoying as heck. I try really hard to convince myself I have lost my mind and throw myself into something else for a while.
Life conspires against me in this plot, and I find myself around the Dude- a LOT. And these nagging, weird, fluttery, flip-floppy feelings just will not stop.
I try subtlety for a while, hoping maybe he will catch on.
That is a bad plan and does not work.
Someone that was hanging around the gaming group for a while convinces me to "go for it" and that I will never know whether things will work with The Dude if I do not try a more direct approach.
The plan goes something like this: look totally awesome around him, and see what unfolds. If nothing, then The Dude is a loser (in the sense that he does not get wonderful me) and I move on. If something happens, everyone wins. This is sometime in the springtime, I think near The Dude's birthday.
It sounded so easy...
I wore a dress. Not just any dress, but a dress that would have made Kelly Bundy from Married With Children PROUD. I get my hair prettied up. I wear makeup.
And then head to The Dude's place of work.
I drop in, say hi, talk for a bit, and while The Dude seems SURPRISED, he does not seem impressed at all.
I chalk this adventure up as a lesson in loss, and tell myself it is time to move on.
My heart does not like this idea one bit and I have a hard time letting go of my weird, annoying feelings for the Dude.
All the while, I have been planning a trip to France for the summer. I expect to be gone a month, and I am pretty excited. I know absolutely nothing about the family I will stay with, but I have a place to go and adventures to have. I tell myself that if nothing happens with The Dude before I leave for France, I will force myself to move on- I will NOT have a repeat of the 2 year crush I had on Guy X.
The end of the school year rolls around and I get serious about my preparations for my trip. I start planning "one last hurrah" events with my closest friends- including The Dude.
My plane for France leaves on the 4th of July. I am planning to head to my grandparents who live near the airport on the 2nd, and spend the 3rd at the conference for the exchange students. All of my plans with my friends are at the end of June.
It's June 30th, and the Dude & I are hanging out. I am dressed completely casually- cute jeans and my favorite top- a slightly tight black top with a low sweetheart neckline. We wander all over the local campus- pretty standard for us. We hit a few record stores, and there is a specific point when The Dude starts acting really buggy.
He won't look me in the face and keeps making slightly underhanded digs at my appearance. I am having too much fun to pay too much attention, but it is seriously weird behavior for The Dude.
We wind up at Arby's. I don't have a lot of money-most of it is going to my trip. The Dude offers to pay. I'm not super hungry, so I order a large curly fries with cheese. We head to a table and sit down, and The Dude is in full on absolutely crazy mode. I have NO idea what is going on but he pretty much ignores me to read the liner notes of a 247 Spies CD. The few times he speaks to me are weird, cryptic comments that could be come-ons or put downs.
I keep pretending nothing is wrong, but I get those darn feelings again, and I have a total mental freakout about halfway back to his apartment. Luckily I was able to cover it with a falsehood of needing to tie my shoes and things progress from there.
We're at his apartment, hanging out on the couch, talking and having a good time. The weirdness has passed and I feel comfortable and relaxed around The Dude again. I feel confident that he's set as my best friend and I can start looking for new guys to date when I get back from my trip.
Then it happens.
The Dude tells me that he likes me, and is looking for a "serious relationship". He goes on to say that he doesn't want anything casual, but something that will last a while, and possibly lead to more than just dating. And he wants it to be with me.
I am beyond petrified. I hoped for something like this with The Dude for a while, but the timing couldn't be worse, and I had JUST (I mean literally minutes prior to this revelation) relegated him to the "Friend Zone".
I decide the best thing to do is to be honest. I tell him that I'm afraid our dating will ruin our friendship. I tell him that he has lousy timing, too.
He seems strangely unphased by this and acts like he understands. We talk for a while more. We agree that we should at least try dating with the understanding that if it is "weird", we will go back to being friends, and no hurt feelings.
We stand up, and hug. It's pretty nice. There's a moment where I am stuck in my fear, my anticipation and my nerves, and I freeze with my face against his chest. He's wearing a Faith No More T-shirt, with the band members on it rather than their logo. He is warm and smells good. I hear:
"Are you going to kiss me, or are you going to stand there staring at Mike Patton all night?"
I kiss him for the first time, and I am home. I know I am where I am meant to be and I never want to leave.
I am scheduled to leave town in 2 days.
Life conspires against me in this plot, and I find myself around the Dude- a LOT. And these nagging, weird, fluttery, flip-floppy feelings just will not stop.
I try subtlety for a while, hoping maybe he will catch on.
That is a bad plan and does not work.
Someone that was hanging around the gaming group for a while convinces me to "go for it" and that I will never know whether things will work with The Dude if I do not try a more direct approach.
The plan goes something like this: look totally awesome around him, and see what unfolds. If nothing, then The Dude is a loser (in the sense that he does not get wonderful me) and I move on. If something happens, everyone wins. This is sometime in the springtime, I think near The Dude's birthday.
It sounded so easy...
I wore a dress. Not just any dress, but a dress that would have made Kelly Bundy from Married With Children PROUD. I get my hair prettied up. I wear makeup.
And then head to The Dude's place of work.
I drop in, say hi, talk for a bit, and while The Dude seems SURPRISED, he does not seem impressed at all.
I chalk this adventure up as a lesson in loss, and tell myself it is time to move on.
My heart does not like this idea one bit and I have a hard time letting go of my weird, annoying feelings for the Dude.
All the while, I have been planning a trip to France for the summer. I expect to be gone a month, and I am pretty excited. I know absolutely nothing about the family I will stay with, but I have a place to go and adventures to have. I tell myself that if nothing happens with The Dude before I leave for France, I will force myself to move on- I will NOT have a repeat of the 2 year crush I had on Guy X.
The end of the school year rolls around and I get serious about my preparations for my trip. I start planning "one last hurrah" events with my closest friends- including The Dude.
My plane for France leaves on the 4th of July. I am planning to head to my grandparents who live near the airport on the 2nd, and spend the 3rd at the conference for the exchange students. All of my plans with my friends are at the end of June.
It's June 30th, and the Dude & I are hanging out. I am dressed completely casually- cute jeans and my favorite top- a slightly tight black top with a low sweetheart neckline. We wander all over the local campus- pretty standard for us. We hit a few record stores, and there is a specific point when The Dude starts acting really buggy.
He won't look me in the face and keeps making slightly underhanded digs at my appearance. I am having too much fun to pay too much attention, but it is seriously weird behavior for The Dude.
We wind up at Arby's. I don't have a lot of money-most of it is going to my trip. The Dude offers to pay. I'm not super hungry, so I order a large curly fries with cheese. We head to a table and sit down, and The Dude is in full on absolutely crazy mode. I have NO idea what is going on but he pretty much ignores me to read the liner notes of a 247 Spies CD. The few times he speaks to me are weird, cryptic comments that could be come-ons or put downs.
I keep pretending nothing is wrong, but I get those darn feelings again, and I have a total mental freakout about halfway back to his apartment. Luckily I was able to cover it with a falsehood of needing to tie my shoes and things progress from there.
We're at his apartment, hanging out on the couch, talking and having a good time. The weirdness has passed and I feel comfortable and relaxed around The Dude again. I feel confident that he's set as my best friend and I can start looking for new guys to date when I get back from my trip.
Then it happens.
The Dude tells me that he likes me, and is looking for a "serious relationship". He goes on to say that he doesn't want anything casual, but something that will last a while, and possibly lead to more than just dating. And he wants it to be with me.
I am beyond petrified. I hoped for something like this with The Dude for a while, but the timing couldn't be worse, and I had JUST (I mean literally minutes prior to this revelation) relegated him to the "Friend Zone".
I decide the best thing to do is to be honest. I tell him that I'm afraid our dating will ruin our friendship. I tell him that he has lousy timing, too.
He seems strangely unphased by this and acts like he understands. We talk for a while more. We agree that we should at least try dating with the understanding that if it is "weird", we will go back to being friends, and no hurt feelings.
We stand up, and hug. It's pretty nice. There's a moment where I am stuck in my fear, my anticipation and my nerves, and I freeze with my face against his chest. He's wearing a Faith No More T-shirt, with the band members on it rather than their logo. He is warm and smells good. I hear:
"Are you going to kiss me, or are you going to stand there staring at Mike Patton all night?"
I kiss him for the first time, and I am home. I know I am where I am meant to be and I never want to leave.
I am scheduled to leave town in 2 days.
Friday, July 31, 2009
The Story of the Dude (The Whammy)
Every good story I have ever read has a part where things start to go sideways a little bit, and I think to myself, "what the heck just happened here?".
We're about to enter into the "Weirdness Magnet" section of the Story of the Dude.
It's the summer after my sophomore year.
Through late spring and early summer of this year, The Dude has been dating my best friend from high school, who has just moved away to New York at the end of the school year.
I am taking summer school for some darn computer thing and Driver's Ed. I completely, totally, and utterly stink at both.
I cannot understand the computer crap to save my life. I can type and spell. I can follow directions. But I can't, for the life of me, understand how to "talk" to a machine to make it do something as simple as addition. I just do NOT "get it".
Many of the guys I game with are something of computer nerds, and very kindly offer to help with the summer school stuff. I take in my dumb, make-no-sense-to-me assignments, and a couple of guys help me several times. One of them, "Tune", also offers to help me with some driving practice as long as my dad okays the deal.
My dad has always parented me pretty loosely. He lets me decide what works and what does not, tells me when I am a dumbass, and then helps me figure out how to solve whatever mess I am in. He rarely if ever has rules, and even less often has qualms about me doing something as outright ludicrous sounding as driving around alone in the country with a guy 5-6 years older than me. So he agrees.
Somewhere in between teaching me computer jibberish and trying valiantly to instruct me in driving, Tune and I start dating. There's a certain band and song I associate with him still- there was a tape deck in his pickup truck and he had a particular tape in the deck through all those "driving lessons". I know I didn't learn much about driving after the first couple weeks.
It's a pretty hot and heavy deal, with me being young, foolish, a little lacking in sense as a direct result of a smart older guy paying attention to me in a way I liked. He was young, foolish, in his first relationship away from his parents, and lacking a little sense too.
Some time in the summer, the Dude asked my best friend to marry him, even though they were hundreds of miles apart. She said yes. The Dude tries to come up with a plan to go visit her, but has a problem: he doesn't drive.
Somehow the idea that Tune, The Dude & I would drive all the way to upstate New York (literally 10 miles from the Canada Border) together came about.
Yet again, this plan depends on my dad's approval. The idea that I am driving across the country in a pickup truck with a topper on the back with 2 adult guys 5-6 years older than me apparently does not phase him MUCH, and off we go.
The trip was weird, fun, and short. In the time we are there, I see the Dude treat my best friend in a way that is the stuff of romance novels & chick flick movies. He totally pampers her and makes it known that he adores her.
I am dating Tune, but I tell myself that I want a guy that treats me that way- someday.
We come back from our trip. The Dude and Tune are now room mates. Tune and I break up sometime in later summer, early fall. It wasn't pretty. The Dude, who has become a close friend at this point, sympathizes and does his best to help me patch up.
About a month or two (maybe more but not much) later, my best friend breaks up with The Dude. It wasn't pretty. I am a close friend to him at this point, and I sympathize and try to help him patch up.
Somewhere in late winter or early spring of my junior year, I have these weird feelings whenever I am around the Dude.
I tell myself I am crazy and try to shake them.
We're about to enter into the "Weirdness Magnet" section of the Story of the Dude.
It's the summer after my sophomore year.
Through late spring and early summer of this year, The Dude has been dating my best friend from high school, who has just moved away to New York at the end of the school year.
I am taking summer school for some darn computer thing and Driver's Ed. I completely, totally, and utterly stink at both.
I cannot understand the computer crap to save my life. I can type and spell. I can follow directions. But I can't, for the life of me, understand how to "talk" to a machine to make it do something as simple as addition. I just do NOT "get it".
Many of the guys I game with are something of computer nerds, and very kindly offer to help with the summer school stuff. I take in my dumb, make-no-sense-to-me assignments, and a couple of guys help me several times. One of them, "Tune", also offers to help me with some driving practice as long as my dad okays the deal.
My dad has always parented me pretty loosely. He lets me decide what works and what does not, tells me when I am a dumbass, and then helps me figure out how to solve whatever mess I am in. He rarely if ever has rules, and even less often has qualms about me doing something as outright ludicrous sounding as driving around alone in the country with a guy 5-6 years older than me. So he agrees.
Somewhere in between teaching me computer jibberish and trying valiantly to instruct me in driving, Tune and I start dating. There's a certain band and song I associate with him still- there was a tape deck in his pickup truck and he had a particular tape in the deck through all those "driving lessons". I know I didn't learn much about driving after the first couple weeks.
It's a pretty hot and heavy deal, with me being young, foolish, a little lacking in sense as a direct result of a smart older guy paying attention to me in a way I liked. He was young, foolish, in his first relationship away from his parents, and lacking a little sense too.
Some time in the summer, the Dude asked my best friend to marry him, even though they were hundreds of miles apart. She said yes. The Dude tries to come up with a plan to go visit her, but has a problem: he doesn't drive.
Somehow the idea that Tune, The Dude & I would drive all the way to upstate New York (literally 10 miles from the Canada Border) together came about.
Yet again, this plan depends on my dad's approval. The idea that I am driving across the country in a pickup truck with a topper on the back with 2 adult guys 5-6 years older than me apparently does not phase him MUCH, and off we go.
The trip was weird, fun, and short. In the time we are there, I see the Dude treat my best friend in a way that is the stuff of romance novels & chick flick movies. He totally pampers her and makes it known that he adores her.
I am dating Tune, but I tell myself that I want a guy that treats me that way- someday.
We come back from our trip. The Dude and Tune are now room mates. Tune and I break up sometime in later summer, early fall. It wasn't pretty. The Dude, who has become a close friend at this point, sympathizes and does his best to help me patch up.
About a month or two (maybe more but not much) later, my best friend breaks up with The Dude. It wasn't pretty. I am a close friend to him at this point, and I sympathize and try to help him patch up.
Somewhere in late winter or early spring of my junior year, I have these weird feelings whenever I am around the Dude.
I tell myself I am crazy and try to shake them.
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