Been Thinking

Most of my non-existance lately has been due to fear. Fear that by acknowledging the [whatever- and boy is there a LOT of whatever], I would be giving it substance. That by nodding to the reality of the [verboten], I give it power.

Well, I just have to say, pretending it's not there doesn't work for crap. The STUFF is still real, and hits me all the harder for it.

As much as I reject the reality of my life (thank you Adam Savage!) for the past month or so, there has been a good amount of positive along with the -notsomuch-. I've discovered some VERY important things about myself and what I need to do. What I want to do has also come into the sun a little, and maybe I will be brave enough to put some energy into myself sometime in the next .....soon.

So, I've had some ups and some downs. I am in the middle of a very bumpy spot and hoping things get smoother soon. I have some hope for a brighter, smoother ride -- soon.