I Had Forgotten

I had forgotten


how much I love and need my wonderful church family

how good it feels to be supported rather than standing on my own

how long that "short drive to town" feels under pressure

that the only thing louder than my heart beating in my ears is the sound of an O2/pulse meter drowning it out

how lonely it is at 4 am

how dark it is at 4 am

how often I used to check to see that he was sleeping and breathing well 

how easily I felt at peace before

how hard I will fight to keep that which is mine safe, happy and healthy

how much I can rely on - friends, family, faith and my own driven, intense commitment

how I have a purpose and how I can feel assured that I'm doing my best

how much I have been blessed

It only took a few hours for it all to come back. It may be years before I forget again 

I don't mean to be wrecky, I just am!

Yesterday I had a total and complete mental meltdown. Absolute and utter hysteria, tears and general wailing were happening at my house- loudly. And it was my fault.

I learned a couple of important lessons yesterday - most importantly:

Dodge Durango trucks are BIG. One should not completely and totally be oblivious to these vehicles.

But I was. I backed right into one. I was luckily going really slowly, and just barely TOUCHED the guy's wheel fender. The damage is extremely minor, but he called it in within an HOUR of the incident. YAY insurance.

Next lesson:

My Dude is a wonderful man and loves me - a LOT.

I was a wreck yesterday and he just held me and then got me laughing.

He rocks.