17 (Again)

I've been passively following the presidential election race/coverage for a while. I was totally relieved when Hillary was NOT chosen as Obama's running mate, but other than that I haven't really paid a ton of attention.

Until recently.

I am a younger-ish person and I remember being 17 VERY well.

At 17, I was engaged to be married.

I was a senior in high school. I wasn't planning my prom, or worrying about who my roomie in college might be. I was planning a wedding, a move 200+ miles away (with no car), finding affordable housing for myself and my soon to be husband (no small feat in a college town). My intended had the "honor" of being older- by 6 years. A teacher made it clear that she felt I was the victim of statutory rape. I know several "well meaning" adults spoke to my father about the situation privately.

I dealt with the question, "are you pregnant?" every single time I told someone of my plans to get married. Several people made very loud (and rude) judgements about my father's parenting abilities. I got lots of funny looks. I had people literally counting the months from my annoucement to my wedding out loud on their fingers in front of me. I got lots of interesting advice and commentary about the likelihood of my intended marriage's length.

And it was hard. I cried a lot. I got mad a lot. I was a stressed out wreck and my dress almost didn't fit because I put on weight from all the headaches. (I eat when I am stressed.) My fiance at the time (now The Dude) listened to me vent a LOT.

I was NOT an embarrasment to my father. I was NOT something he was "sad" about. I was NOT a dissapointment or a "bad thing".

And I was NOT pregnant.

I just can't imagine how hard this time is for Bristol Palin. I'm sure that no one in her family wanted this to come out the way it did. I'm sure that Bristol didn't want or need the additional stress right now, at a time when life is hard enough. I wish that I could send her a hug and offer her some support.

I didn't have a lot of rules when I was at home, but "don't get pregnant" was one of them. I know how easy it could have been. I know how simple just "one time" is (my SweetPea is a result of "one time") and how hard it is to navigate that at a young age.

And now all these implications and accusations that Sarah is somehow deficient- they make me angry. And sad.

I know I will be paying a lot more attention to the presidential election race for a while. I just hope Bristol can take it.